Tag Archives: BDSM

S. J. Maylee

S.J. Maylee, kink, erotica, BDSM romance, bondage

 

We asked S.J. Maylee a few questions about writing BDSM erotica. Feel free to ask her a few of your own

 

 

At what point did you decide you wanted to write BDSM themed erotic romance?
I wasn’t compelled to write until I incorporated the dynamics of Dominance and submission into the lives of my characters. In this place of honesty, I can see my characters so clearly and get them to face their deepest desires. These are the stories that won’t leave me alone and inspire me.

Is there one area of BDSM that you tend to write about more? Why do you think that area creeps into your writing more than some others?
All of my stories have Dominance and submission. It’s an area I love to read and it naturally appears in my stories. The amount of strength and restraint a Dom must possess is breathtaking. A submissive’s role is not to be underestimated. It takes a tremendous amount of strength and bravery to give yourself to someone. It also takes a fine balance to build trust between my couples. When it happens, it’s magic. S.J. Maylee, kink, erotica, BDSM romance, bondage

Have you done research in BDSM to make your stories realistic?
Yes, at the beginning of my journey, I became friends with a Dom and we’ve had countless conversation about the dynamics. He helped me to understand how the safe, sane, and consensual rules aren’t just smart, but they play an essential role.

Although I write romantic fiction, I want my love stories to feel real and I recognize my responsibility with the genre and I’ve continued my studies.

What differences or difficulties, if any, do you see in writing D/s stories as opposed to your typical romance?
BDSM is a culture and needs to be respected, but I love that. I’m passionate about learning and this is an area I can really sink my teeth into. BDSM requires honesty and as a romance writer this is often where the heart of my stories are discovered. If a character is lying to themselves, they’ll certainly lie to each other. Breaking through personal barriers and finding their truth is a rewarding experience.

S.J. Maylee, kink, erotica, BDSM romance, bondageS.J. Maylee fell in love with storytelling at a young age and with it came a deep-seated desire for everyone to find their happily ever after. She’s finding the happy endings for her characters one steamy story at a time.

When she’s not reading or writing, you can find her caring for her garden, laughing with her two young sons, or dancing to her husband’s music. She’s a PMP (Project Management Professional), Nia instructor, and coffee addict.

As a writer she has a tendency to break hearts, but she always glues them back together.

Blog | Twitter | Facebook Page | Google+ | Goodreads | Amazon Author Page

Laura Antoniou

Laura Antoniou
Laura Antonious  talks frankly about BDSM and the vast misconceptions most individuals have about those who embrace this erotic lifestyle.

Feel free to pose a few of your own questions for her below.

What is your aim when it comes to writing about BDSM? What do you hope people get out of reading your books?
I want to write a good story, and I hope readers get a ripping good read! I hope they enjoy the characters and the trouble they get into and the emotional and philosophical decisions they have to make. And I hope they like the fantasy world I created and enjoy imagining what it would be like to adventure in a world like that, whether they like the idea of being served or serving or just being the occasional bystander.

What are some popular misconceptions about people who participate in BDSM?
That we’re intrinsically or situationally damaged – either we’re born injured or handicapped or cursed by these desires, or that we are made kinky by bad experiences. Sadly, Fifty Shades of GreyLaura Antoniou, BDSM Writers Con, fetishes, bondage, Charley Ferrer does support the “only damaged people do SM” meme. But studies within the scene have revealed we are no more or less likely to be emotionally challenged or disabled than the rest of the human population. Which is sad because I really wanted the study to show we’re more creative, saner and smarter. Ahh, well.

What about this idea that you have to be damaged in some way to like it: do you think that’s true?
See the above question. That some kinky people have had bad sexual or emotional experiences only reflects that MANY people experience these things. Frankly, it’s very hard to admit past abuse issues when you’re into SM, because so many people leap to the conclusion, “Oh, that’s why you like to be tied up! Your father called you stupid when you were seven!” It’s nonsense. You might as well conclude that people like to play football because they drank milk as babies. Correlation does not imply causation. There are far too many variables.

But because so many people have experienced some form of abuse or neglect, they can sometimes find a sense of power and security in enacting consensual dramas as adults. They might not want to relive past pain, but instead find ways to create greater trust and intimacy by sharing what scared or hurt them and finding ways for their lovers to help them to feel safe, or powerful, cherished and respected. And there is nothing more empowering to a past abuse survivor than the feeling of negotiating exactly what they want and getting it, completely able to stop anything that isn’t working. It’s not therapy – people who need professional help should get it. But it can be very rewarding and pleasurable.

BDSM Writers Con, Laura Antoniou, kink, fetish, Charley Ferrer
What about the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon? Is it good that more people know about BDSM through that, or does it paint a very misguided view of BDSM by perpetuating that only those who are damaged in some way will enjoy it?
The main thing people need to realize about Fifty Shades of Grey is that it’s a romance. This is not a portrayal of the modern BDSM scene any more than a romance book about a sexy doctor is about the National Health Service. In fact, the kinky scene doesn’t even exist in those books – other than the damaged romantic hero commenting that she’d be amazed at what she could find on the internet, and suggesting Wikipedia for her research purposes. And this in Seattle, one of the most influential cities for the BDSM community in the US!

Don’t get me started.

Anyway! Most people who read those books have zero interest in doing anything kinky. They are romance readers! They read for escapism, not life modeling. If romance readers read and then ran out to find what they read about, the beaches and docks would be full of women waiting to be picked up by pirates.

And the damaged hero is nothing more than part of the standard romantic trope of “virginal woman secures the love of a bad boy through her virtue.” He is only bad because he had a dark past. Poor, poor billionaire Christian, with the 6-pack abs and the concert-level piano skills, flying his personal helicopter and buying his girlfriend cars and homes! He was abused and neglected as a child, and therefore beats women who look like his mum. But in the end, true love redeems him, and the kinky sex, which he once used to distance himself from women, becomes merely another way he and his wife – and mother of his children – can enjoy their frequent and mutually satisfying sex life. And they live happily ever after, assuming no more of his former girlfriends come after them with guns.
BDSM Writers Con, Laura Antoniou, kink, bondage, fetishes, Charley Ferrer, BDSM writers

This is not good for people like me, who aren’t much into romance novels. But it means almost nothing to people who actually have kinky sex. Sure, a few people will read the books, goggle a few terms, and unlike Anastasia, they will find us! And some of them will come out, buy a sex toy, attend a workshop or a party, maybe even buy one of my books. And of them, a few will stay for a while. But we’re talking very small numbers.

The big change – the one that will count – is how many people will begin to see just how unthreatening the BDSM scene really is. Because right now, all over the world, people are telling their friends and family, “Oh, what I do is sort of like what’s in those books you just read in your book club. But without the stalking and we don’t use zip ties for bondage because they hurt too much.” And their friends are thinking, “Well, sheesh, what’s the big deal then?”

And that is all to the better. People will feel safer “coming out” as kinky when they know their grandma has those books on a shelf. And it will be harder to paint us as rare, dangerous deviants when everyone knows mum has those books on her kindle.

How does a book like 50 Shades differ from one of your books?
I do not write romances. My books are not about one couple, fated to get together and stay together forever in domestic bliss. Mine are about a larger cast of characters, with only a few staying from book to book – it’s more in the style of an old fashioned family saga. The setting is what matters, plus a few core characters and their arcs. There are romantic aspects to my books, but no happily ever afters. Just an occasional “happy for now.”

I also write for an audience that is more aware of sexuality and BDSM. Frankly, I find many of the sexual depictions in 50 Shades to be misleading at best or dangerous at worst. Hopefully, the type of people who look to fiction to teach them how to have sex have better examples to learn from. Of course anyone who thinks fiction is any way to learn anything is already operating from a handicap. You might as well read a Star Trek novel to learn jet propulsion.
Laura Antoniou’s publishing career began when she started writing gay men’s smut to promote safer sex practices during the early 90’s. Emboldened by getting paid to do this, she then edited the groundbreaking “Leatherwomen” series, highlighting tales of kinky women. This was rapidly followed by half a dozen other anthologies and the Marketplace series of erotic BDSM novels BDSM Writers Con, Laura Antoniou, Fetishes, kink, BDSM, Charley Ferrer which never reached the sales level of the 50 Shades books, but she’s not bitter. Instead, she wrote the 6th, titled The Inheritor, due to come out in 2015.

In 2013, Laura turned her mind to mysteries and came out with the Rainbow Book Award for Best LGBT Mystery, The Killer Wore Leather. Now that she has achieved almost mainstream success with it, she plans a sequel, to be released via Cleis Press. She is also the editor for Best Lesbian Erotica 2015 and is planning many other writing and editing projects in order to fulfill a lifelong dream of actually making a living on this sort of thing. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter or check her out at www.lantoniou.com

BDSM Writers Con, Charley Ferrer, kink, fetishes, erotica, bdsm romanceFeatured Author of BDSM Writers Con 2014

Cris Anson

Cris Anson

BDSM?

Truth to tell, I’m like a kid in a candy store. I want to taste it all, see it all, try it all.

Let me back up. In August 2012, I attended Dr. Charley’s inaugural “BDSM for Writers Workshop” in New York City, a small group that fit in the parlor of a hotel suite. Like a sponge, I absorbed every word and asked questions along with my fellow attendees, none of whom were “out” in the lifestyle.

Our curriculum included two eye-opening visits to Paddles, NYC’s longest-running dungeon (30 years so far and going strong). Friday night was quiet, so we were able to touch, try, sit on or be tied to any or all of the equipment, talk to folks who welcomed us because they wanted us writers to “get it” and tell the truth about the lifestyle. Saturday the joint was jumping, with TES (The Eulenspiegel Society) hosting a well-attended party. We watched floggings, spankings, needle play, humiliation, pussy torture, cock torture, tickling, and a host of other fetishes, all of which enlivened our imaginations for future stories.

My biggest takeaway, however, was the friends I made in the lifestyle, Dr. Charley primary among them. It should be no surprise, therefore, that I dedicated my September 2013 release from Ellora’s Cave, NO PATIENCE, thus:

To Dr. Charley Ferrer, World Renowned Clinical Sexologist. Your BDSM for Writers Weekend in August 2012 opened so many doors—into my mind and into your world. Thank you for your friendship and guidance. My writing is all the richer for it.

Okay, another huge takeaway: the lifestyle itself. I found the courage to sign up for Fetlife. Through that connection I discovered several groups in my area and began to attend “munches” – a kinky way to describe a “vanilla” social event where we simply sat and chatted, not unlike being in a friend’s living room and meeting that person’s other friends. Because believe me, you want to know a little about the person you’re standing naked in front of while they do dastardly things to you (with your consent, of course).

From there I progressed to attending a few private parties, then graduated to actually going to a dungeon with a few new female friends. I experienced spanking, flogging, single-tail whip and other impact instruments, Violet Wand, being blindfolded, tied up, was partially suspended and more. Some kinks I enjoyed more than others. Some I’d love to do again and again and again and…um, where was I? Oh, right. All of these experiences have begun to flavor my writing.

Right now I’m putting the finishing touches on REDEMPTION AND MERCY, a novel that’s about 50,000 words (and climbing). Both the hero and heroine have just dipped their toes into the BDSM world, both have a mentor, and when they meet, oh boy, electricity zaps all over the place! *big grin* Trouble is, both of them have lots of sexual experience but what they know about power exchange, delayed gratification, dominating and submitting, could fit inside a teaspoon. So each of them gets a taste of being both a Dom and a sub. And although I’m leaning a certain way, I’m still not sure which of them will be *ahem* on top at the end of the book!

But maybe that’s because I still consider myself a switch. When I meet that person who will either make me want to kneel naked before him or let him feel my lash on his naked flesh, I’ll be sure to let y’all know.

Meanwhile, let me pimp my MERCY series.

The first, PUNISHMENT AND MERCY, is a ménage set in 1699 Massachusetts Bay Colony, in which both the blacksmith and his apprentice fall in love with the lusty widow. It’s available in both print and digital formats at Ellora’s Cave, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other online booksellers. Maybe I took liberties (I’m sure no one in 1699 dared write about it), but there are BDSM elements in that story.

The second is MERCY AND REDEMPTION, a contemporary reincarnation story where the two heroes researching their genealogy meet in an old cemetery an hour from Boston. The heroine comes across them while doing gravestone rubbings. The three of them realize they have unfinished business from the past and yes, it is also a ménage. Now available digitally, MERCY AND REDEMPTION will be released in paperback on December 23.

The aforementioned book I’m working on, REDEMPTION AND GLORY, should be ready for my editor before year’s end and I hope it will be available, at least digitally, for the August conference [BDSM Writers Con]. This one is strictly BDSM and it’s all as a result of Doctor Charley’s teaching at the two BDSM for Writers Conferences I attended.

If you write BDSM (or want to) or if you enjoy reading it, don’t miss this year’s BDSM WRITERS CON!

Cris Anson’s interest in BDSM has been evident since Ellora’s Cave published her first erotic romance in 2005. In Redemption and Glory, her fourteenth book, two novices to BDSM learn what turns them on, but their exploration turns explosive when a second man enters their Domination and submission games. Aaron’s Jewel, a BDSM novella featuring older protagonists, will release in September. Cris has given or received floggings, violet wand, spankings, power exchanges, and other elements of BDSM—all in the name of research. Her stories and blogs are laced with her personal observations and experiences. Her books consistently receive 5-star and recommended-read reviews.  In her spare time, Cris enjoys reading, gardening, cooking, piano playing, flogging and being flogged, the soft sound of rain dripping on the forest canopy, and of course, chocolate.

 

BDSM Writers Con, Doctor Charley Ferrer, kink, fetishes, bondage, BDSM education, dominance and submissionI met Cris Anson in 2012 when she attended my three-day BDSM for Writers Intensive. She returned in 2013 and I’m pleased to say, she’ll be attending again for the third year in a row. In 2014, Cris is not only attending, she will also be a presenter providing some wonderful information as well. Cris has shown a dedication to her writing craft that is admirable. Her passion and willingness to explore the life of Dominance and submission is inspiring. Then again, what’s there not to love ’s about BDSM or Cris Anson?

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Charley Ferrer

Dr. Charley Ferrer  Press PictureDr. Charley Ferrer is a world renowned Clinical Sexologist and the FIRST Latina Doctor of Human Sexuality in the United States. She is the award winning author of BDSM The Naked Truth, BDSM for Writers, and The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman, and several other books on sex and self-empowerment.

Doctor Charley hosted several award nominated TV shows including: Caliente with Dr. Charley Ferrer, the first bi-lingual show on relationships and sexuality nominated for Best TV Talk Show by BronxNet in New York City in 2007 and nominated for the Alliance Community Media—Best Northeast Region Award in 2008. Her television show was the inspiration several popular shows on sexuality. The Discovery Channel even approached her wanting information on her guests and contacts so they could create their show Taboo. Empress Charley & a slave

Doctor Charley is the founder and Executive Director of the Institute of Pleasure whose primary mission is to provide education on relationships, mental health services to women and men, and conduct research on sexuality.

In March 2013, she was the ONLY American-Latina Sexologist invited to speak before the Chinese Sexology Association. It was the first time China opened it’s doors to sexological collaboration with other countries. In March 2014, Dr. Charley Ferrer was hired to conduct sensual education and self-empowerment workshops for the women of China.

Doctor ChaBDSM FOR WRITERSrley is an advocate on sexual health and reform lecturing throughout the US and Latina America. She is a repeat speaker on sexual health and reform at the World Congress of Sexology and the International Congress of Medical Practitioners and Sexologist in Latin America. In July 2013, she was the only American Sexologist to be invited to speak before the populace of Falcon Venezuela. This was her third invitation to speak in Venezuela. In 2005 and 2008, she presented several lectures to physicians and mental health workers on the need to educate themselves on the special needs to alternative lifestyle practitioners.

Doctor Charley’s advocacy on sexual health, pleasure, and alternative lifestyles has earned her the reputation as a pioneer in sexuality. She has been dubbed America’s BDSM Expert for her relentless education efforts related to Dominance and submission and alternative lifestyles throughout the world; using various educational mediums such books, workshops, podcast, online workshops, and for 2014 BDSM Writers Con.

Doctor Charley has hosted several radio talk shows in both English and Spanish. She is highly sought after as the Sex Expert on several syndicated Radio & TV shows including Kiss FM–the Michael Baisden Show, Univision, and more.

Sex Unlimited by Dr. Charley FerrerNo stranger to the media, Doctor Charley has been featured in several magazines including: The New York Times, Cosmo, Marie Claire, Forum, Men’s Fitness and many more. As a freelance writer, her work has appeared in various local and international newspapers, magazines and websites including El Diario La Prensa, Latina Magazine, and Fox News Latino just to name a few.

Doctor Charley conducts various self-empowerment and educational speaking engagements at Universities, Hospitals, CDC events, as well as private and non-profit organizations throughout the United States and Latin America. She has been an Adjunct Professor at Rutgers University, Centralia Community College, and lecturing professor in many others.

She is the founder and Executive Director of the Institute of Pleasure whose primary mission is to provide education on relationships, mental health services to women and men, and conduct research on sexuality. Doctor Charley is a repeat speaker on sexual health and reform at the World Congress of Sexology and the International Congress of Medical Practitioners and Sexologist in Latin America. She’s also spoken before the Chinese Sexology Association in 2013.

She was recognized as one of the Groundbreaking Latina in 2006 for her work in Sex Education & Health.

To schedule an interview or to have her as a guest speaker at your event, please contact BDSM The Naked Truth 2nd Editionus. For immediate responses call: (718) 916-4124

Books by Dr. Charley Ferrer
The Latina Kama Sutra
The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman
The Passionate Latina: In Our Own Words
Sex con Sabor Latina (A play)
BDSM The Naked Truth
BDSM for Writers

In Spanish
La Latina Kama Sutra
Para La Mujer Sensual

Coming Soon
30 Shades of Kink
Sexploring: 30-Days to a Better Sex Life
Body & Soul: An Intimate Look at African-American Men’s Sexuality
Sex Repairs: For Women The Latin Lover: The Truth About Religion, Sex, & Machismo

BDSM Writers Con, Doctor Charley Ferrer, kink, fetishes, bondage, BDSM education, dominance and submission
Dr. Charley Ferrer is the Host & Founder of BDSM Writers Con